


Letters

by SilverFliesInBlueSugar



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: (happy is debatable), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Crying, F/M, Letters, POV Second Person, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 20:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21042038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverFliesInBlueSugar/pseuds/SilverFliesInBlueSugar
Summary: Early on, Nathalie realized the price of bringing Emilie back.





	Letters

'Dear <strike>Sir</strike> <strike>Gabriel</strike> Mr Agreste.

March 30th 2018

This is my first letter. Potentially my only letter. It depends how long it takes you to... Acheive your goal. What i may learn in that time, before you do.

I've speculated, and thought on it a lot. And i think i have an inkling to how this wish will work. The wish to bring _her_ back. I don't think you've realized yet. Even if you have, i wonder faintly if you would care.

Equivalent exchange. I have read through the grimoire, and researched, and theorized. It's the only thing that makes sense. And for her... It would be a life for a life.

Reading this must unsettle you, as if you are reading these words, i must already be gone. And it would be strange to know that i have always been aware. Thinking of that is uncomfortable for me, but i try to ignore it. The thought that I'll be simply gone, and this may be all you have left of me. If you even much want anything left from me. Perhaps even after this all, i remain simply your assistant. I hope i have become your friend, though that may hurt you more. I'm sorry.

I wanted to say all of the things i need to. I won't be able to once this is all through and done, after all.

Firstly, you are not evil. Not through and through. I hear you thinking it, with that deep and pained expression on your face. I dearly wish that you were kinder to your son, and that you would make more of an effort for him. But i understand how painful it is for you. And you do still try. In small increments. You are damaged, but i believe you can reach redemption. I believe you are truly a good man, even if it is all buried beneath walls and walls. You have never been truly cruel to me, and on the occasions you strayed near that possibility, you have apologized. And i have always appreciated being thought of. I pray that Emilie can heal what is broken within you and that your family can be stitched back together. For you, and for your son. God knows i have done a terrible job making the both of you happy. I pray she finds easier success. I'm sure she will.

Secondly, i am glad to have worked for you. It has been difficult, and knowing of your... Identity, it makes it harder, i acknowledge that.

But i never regretted this. Never with my full heart. I never linger on 'what-ifs', because this job gave me purpose and worth and something to do, day and night, it gave me a friend and a boy to watch grow. Seeing Adrien age has been a gift all unto itself. I am sad i will not be there to see him grow to adulthood, but i am happy nonetheless that i could see his early life. And so much of your own life, too. I know more of you than the rest of Paris combined, obviously with the exception of your wife. 

I think of you as a friend, truly. 

And lastly...

I'm sorry.

That i couldn't do more. For your family, and for you.

I wish i could do more. If only the peacock miraculous wasn't broken.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that it hurts, that it tears me apart. But I'll hold myself together. I'm with you until the end.

Goodbye. 

Yours, Nathalie Sancoeur.'

\---

'Dear Mr Agreste

October 6th 2018

It hurts. Knowing that you will never see me the way i do you. Obviously it isn't your fault. I wish i could control these stupid emotions.

You almost gave up. But i know you never will. Not until you get her back. I let myself hope. 

Finding out that i felt this way about you... It must be unsettling for you. I'm sorry. I just can't keep this secret into my death. I want you to know, even if I'll be long gone when you read this. It's selfish, i know.

I'm confident your - our - next plan will succeed. Being akumatized will be... Unpleasant, likely. But I'm willing to try. I'm always willing to try. I'll put all i can into this. And if this fails... We have time. We have more plans. 

If this does succeed... Then i suppose this will be the second and final letter.

For some reason, i find myself at a loss for what to say. It seems more of a looming possibilty than before. But... I am still not scared.

Goodbye, sir.

Yours loyally, Nathalie Sancoeur'

\---

'Sir

November 3rd 2018

We failed. I can't imagine how you must feel.

I'm still a little in shock myself. It's bitter, knowing you put everything into this and it still fell through. But we have time, still. We can do this before the second year without her runs through. I believe in us. In you.

Being Mayura hurt me, but there was a thrill too. If i use it again, i may die before we even make the wish. That would not be an acceptable outcome. Because then you would need to sacrifice another, and i cannot in good conscience allow another to die in a role that was clearly destined to be mine.

These last few months have been painful. Today especially. I can't believe you were almost caught. But it would have been worth it, to bring her back, right?

You seem so unsure, sometimes.

We don't have any larger ideas. But we will persevere. And i will use the peacock miraculous as many times as you desire, so long as i do not die. We need me alive. 

You needed me alive. As you read this, i hope you do not mourn me. I hope that if you do, she gets you through it with ease. I pray you forget about me. About all of this.

We have been growing closer, and a part of me wishes we weren't. I don't want you to hesitate in the final wish. To regret it.

I'm sorry. For making all of this so hard.

<strike>i love you</strike> thank you

Yours, Nathalie'

\---

'Gabriel

May 18th 2019

Knowing you aren't HawkMoth in the future. You must have succeeded.

I realize these letters have almost become a diary. Perhaps it could be my legacy. My pathetic legacy.

Would things really have been different if i hadn't been here? Sometimes i wonder if i hold you back. If i bring out your sentimentality.

I can't keep my hands off you. I'm sorry. I wish i could focus. I wish we were progressing faster.

Being Mayura hurts so badly each time. It feels like I'm being torn apart, and that there is boiling water running through my veins. My head feels foggy and my breathing is shaky.

I have also been coughing <strike>up blood</strike> more. It probably isn't a good sign.

I can't die yet.

I hope you're happy. I hope you smiled when you got her back.

I hope you didn't even look at me, when i died. I hope it was quick. 

The thought terrifies me now, sometimes. Not being here anymore. Nothingness, stretching into eternity. But I'll still do it.

You know who for. I don't need to keep on. Like a broken record.

Nathalie.'

\---

'Gabriel

October 15th 2019

I'm sorry. Goodbye. 

Nathalie.'

\---

Gabriel stormed toward Nathalie's room. She was resting in the guest room. The memory of holding her in the catacombs had been burnt into his mind, her shouts of confusion when he stopped her. She had taken the miraculi from him in his sleep.

Thank god he had gotten to her before she could make the wish. He couldn't lose her.

He had held her until she ran out of tears to cry, and helped her to her room. Her expression was confused and tired, like she didn't understand why he had stopped her.

These letters...

He had found them buried under a stack of paperwork on her desk. He had obviously been meant to find them.

But not under these circumstances. She had thought he would find them after she had...

His throat closed up as he pushed opened her door with a loud bang.

Her head shot up from where she had been sitting on her bed, eyes wide. "Sir-?!" her face paled as she saw the papers clenched in his fists. "...oh. Sir, I'm s-sor-"

He held her. Held her as close to him as he could, to make sure he could feel her heartbeat and hear her starrled breaths. To remind himself she was alive. He had made it in time.

An entire year. She had been waiting to die for a year.

And there, in her room, with her desperate whispered apologies, he began to sob into her shoulder.

They fell asleep together, never letting go for even a second.


End file.
